One of the most profound and powerful piece of writing that I’ve read recently. Your voice echoed in every single cell of my body.
That part “ I hate that I can feel so at peace inside myself and taste the nectar of how precious this life is each day but I don’t know where my place is in the outside world anymore. “ is so accurate, it blows my brain. How is it that the richness, intensity and deep flow of the inner world can’t cross-over and find its place in the outer world? I guess the transition will happen when we fully surrender that there’s so much power in stillness and not knowing.
Thank you for soothing my aching heart too. Your writing is the most beautiful and precious gift 🩷
Thank you for reading me, as always. Your words really struck me, "how is it that the richness, intensity and deep flow of the inner world can't crossover and find its place in the outer world?" is just...wow. Sitting with this and reflecting. Grateful for your kindness xx
Your words are magic. They touch the soul every time. Still struggling with the inner- outer worlds but I know we are all in this together and that gives me hope. Love to you always 👑🩷
I am in awe of you beautiful friend ❤️ you said you don't know where your courage is, but you're allowing yourself to just be right now and that in itself, is so incredibly brave. It's a protest in this world. I love your heart.
This writing is so soul stirring. It soothes the aches inside my body and mind. It’s inspiring me to be more honest on the page and with myself. It’s so much to take in, I have to go back and read it again. ♥️
Karen, thank you for reading me, and for being here. As well as being so open with what the words are stirring within you. I said in the piece that I don't feel very brave in my life right now, but we ARE brave, every time we're so honest on the page. Sending you all the love.
Beautifully written. I resonated so much with the lines, "There are seasons. Seasons where we are living. Seasons when we’re in the trenches. Progress is made. We see the rewards. We feel it. We think we’re going backwards, but we’re never going back." Nothing is wasted, there's progress even in the mundane.
Kristin, I am so grateful for you for reading this and for gifting me the sentiment that indeed there is so much progress even in the mundane. Carrying this with me.
I am so glad that you're here and witnessing yourself in these words. Walking alongside you through it all. Pouring virtual love into your heart today, Erika ❤️
GISELLE I AM SO SEEN. I SENT THIS TO MANY GIRLFRIENDS. Different bodies, different stories, different traumas - but I SEE YOU AND I FEEL SO SEEN BY THIS ESSAY. I have been sitting on vulnerable ones - scared of exposing myself more in this vulnerable, raw season, where I am in the trenches, in my own C-PTSD, reconciling so much shit, my body handing me a huge fucking score, gobsmacked that I have spent my life gaslighting myself and not believing I had any real trauma (cause I am white and middle-ish class, and people are dying and there is systemic fucking racism and I am not trans, etc etc - these are some of my stories - that my pain is not valid because people are "worse off" - but the gaslighting is learnt from parents who did the opposite of nurture and support, in a chronic, emotionally abusive way)... and also - I am you too, still frolicking (but I do look forward to the other side of the Saturn Return, 'cause the late twenties is a grand shitshow). I have all those career anxieties, in so many ways, this was like reading my own internalised narratives. So thank you. I want to restack so many quotes. I am so grateful for brave fucking woman on here like you. Anyway - sHE is gushing, I just love wise women. Have the best day. Thank you for the reminder THAT THE WORLD CAN FUCKING WAIT FOR ME. That I do not have to fucking bloom year-round.
Darling Giselle. I'm breathing with you, sister. I've never heard someone identify how C-PTSD functions in quite this succinct of a way. Phew. Seeing this in me, too.
Like you said, there are seasons. There are seasons for being out and boss babe-ing it. And there are seasons for drawing all your energy in.
You're in the chrysalis. You are becoming goo. Your source codes will remake you in time.
Recently I read that butterflies can't see the beauty of their own wings. Isn't that something to consider? How similar it for women.
Also, I feel so tremendously honored to have a shout-out in your letter. Bless. Thank you.
Holding you Sarah, and yes, it's weird isn't it, the places where we don't often recognise C-PTSD creeping into, or even link them. Much compassion for us both. The butterfly line made me cry, oooooph, thank you for the medicine in those words and for being here.
Have you decided on the question of raising children? No judgment. It was and is the ultimate answer to the where and what regarding both purpose and bravery. I’m more unshakable, and more grateful, than ever before. I apologize when I fall short or allow my anger to drive. I struggle and don’t know what I’m going to do for work, currently unemployed but optimistic. I could shed all material items and even fall into decay or illness, and remain in gratitude and awe; the sole cause of this long game security I’ve gained is the highest blessing of living, growing, healthy offspring under my sturdy wing
Omg…I am stunned speechless after reading this. Feels like you’ve ripped a page from my journal. You are an amazing writer. Damn. Still soaking in the excellence I’ve just witnessed. Thank you for writing this! Your work is necessary.
Been sharing this with my inner circle but forgot to comment and say this felt like a journal entry of my own! I’m in this in between space and unsure when I’ll get out of it but I’m being as patient as possible. I’ve been telling myself it’s just because I’m a new mama. But I’m mollified by your writing that this just happens and that I’m not alone. So thank you!
I actually love you and say that whole soul-ly because somehow you’re describing a very specific similar set of conditions under which I’m living through indefinitely - and I feel so… so so so so so much less split and less disgusted with my feelings about myself - and also many other things, I’m only halfway through, I need this whole thing and am devouring - omg I actually - like, your heading and subheading had me captivated for about 2 hours actually and i had no idea of the surreal (so surreal I can barely register it tbh) narration of my life & what I’d like it to be & what I fear re: ever even reaching the things I’d like to reach because exactly of what you’ve written - like, same exact same exact and where it’s not the same exact - it’s better than the same exact because I’m basically having both my dreams of what success feels feels feels like to me inside - FULFILMENT peace etc etc etc - all of this validated - and the spirally trajectory and all it involves from me, I feel so much more…comfortable in saying YES THAT IS ME, proudly - and with less, so much less (!!!!) of a feeling where I need to prove or explain it OR completely sort of push it aside and under as an alternative - where no space to really FEEL the truths I’m in now exist and you have created it so omg thank you - again, reminding myself I came here halfway thru reading and it was to say I LOVE YOU because yes, all the above, and THEN YOU MADE ME FUCKING CACKLE with the bit re: “u thought u knew lol
Jokes on you” sentence which had that very terribly paraphrased vibe that I just …. Yeah. I don’t like pinning everything on one thing cos I’ll get very ocd obsessed and compulsive and so I’ll also leave my surrender here that I hope to print this out somehow and have it to read on my wall in an ideal world - and just have it like people have their passports - I need this. Thank you for this. Omg thank you. Xxxx back in I go to soak up the rest of ur surreal surreality that’s real cos it’s right here and I’m reading ahhhhhh. Xxxxx
Omfg well no bloody wonder (and actually yes bloody wonder ) - CPTSD is exactly fucking it - and also how you write about it, the fact that you hadn’t needed to say it and when you did, all it did was make my intense resonance with what you’re saying make sense and feel less…scary in its spot on accuracy and applicablility (that’s either a made up word or a LinkedIn word or both, god) - like, yeah idk. Oh god. I don’t remember the last time I felt this understood like scooped inside out onto the page about the state of my … the state of ME. Externally-internally-congruently. Wowowowoowow. Fuck!!! (Especially since oh good fucking ness, I had JUST read the thing of bravery in careers & then VS now & how it’s obvious and also excruciating WHY this is the case - sooooo hard to reconcile - and even harder when it simultaneously feels like the decision I’m standing by proudly AND ALSO HAVE NO CONTROL WHATSOEVER OVER even if I wanted to - and oh god. Nope here we stop and go back and read more - just unreal. Thank you so much. Also for letting me stream my consciousness out in ur comment section - 🥴 - I wanna say sorry I wanna say thank you I wanna … nope I wanna go read rest xxxx that’s what I most want rn.
What an honour and a gift to feel your spirit in each of the words that you've gracefully given time to sharing and processing here. Thank you, truly, with all my being, thank you. Thank you for reading and thank you for letting the words meet you where you are. "I hope to print this out somehow and have it to read on my wall in an ideal world - and just have it like people have their passports" made me SOB. Never, ever a need to say sorry for expressing your heart here. It is all welcome. We're never walking this path alone. Never. Holding your hand as we walk it together, love xx
One of the most profound and powerful piece of writing that I’ve read recently. Your voice echoed in every single cell of my body.
That part “ I hate that I can feel so at peace inside myself and taste the nectar of how precious this life is each day but I don’t know where my place is in the outside world anymore. “ is so accurate, it blows my brain. How is it that the richness, intensity and deep flow of the inner world can’t cross-over and find its place in the outer world? I guess the transition will happen when we fully surrender that there’s so much power in stillness and not knowing.
Thank you for soothing my aching heart too. Your writing is the most beautiful and precious gift 🩷
Thank you for reading me, as always. Your words really struck me, "how is it that the richness, intensity and deep flow of the inner world can't crossover and find its place in the outer world?" is just...wow. Sitting with this and reflecting. Grateful for your kindness xx
Your words are magic. They touch the soul every time. Still struggling with the inner- outer worlds but I know we are all in this together and that gives me hope. Love to you always 👑🩷
I just adored every second of this. What a beautiful piece and one I deeply relate to at this point in time. Thank you
Thank You Ella! So glad that the words moved you in this way. We're in it together 💕
I am in awe of you beautiful friend ❤️ you said you don't know where your courage is, but you're allowing yourself to just be right now and that in itself, is so incredibly brave. It's a protest in this world. I love your heart.
“It's a protest in this world” - I love you 💕
loved this, so so much.
Thank you for being here! Truly 💕
This writing is so soul stirring. It soothes the aches inside my body and mind. It’s inspiring me to be more honest on the page and with myself. It’s so much to take in, I have to go back and read it again. ♥️
Karen, thank you for reading me, and for being here. As well as being so open with what the words are stirring within you. I said in the piece that I don't feel very brave in my life right now, but we ARE brave, every time we're so honest on the page. Sending you all the love.
Beautifully written. I resonated so much with the lines, "There are seasons. Seasons where we are living. Seasons when we’re in the trenches. Progress is made. We see the rewards. We feel it. We think we’re going backwards, but we’re never going back." Nothing is wasted, there's progress even in the mundane.
Kristin, I am so grateful for you for reading this and for gifting me the sentiment that indeed there is so much progress even in the mundane. Carrying this with me.
i cant believe that i have read basically all my rubbish inside of my heart on this beautiful post :( .... you are ab·so·lute·ly amazing Giselle<3
I am so glad that you're here and witnessing yourself in these words. Walking alongside you through it all. Pouring virtual love into your heart today, Erika ❤️
GISELLE I AM SO SEEN. I SENT THIS TO MANY GIRLFRIENDS. Different bodies, different stories, different traumas - but I SEE YOU AND I FEEL SO SEEN BY THIS ESSAY. I have been sitting on vulnerable ones - scared of exposing myself more in this vulnerable, raw season, where I am in the trenches, in my own C-PTSD, reconciling so much shit, my body handing me a huge fucking score, gobsmacked that I have spent my life gaslighting myself and not believing I had any real trauma (cause I am white and middle-ish class, and people are dying and there is systemic fucking racism and I am not trans, etc etc - these are some of my stories - that my pain is not valid because people are "worse off" - but the gaslighting is learnt from parents who did the opposite of nurture and support, in a chronic, emotionally abusive way)... and also - I am you too, still frolicking (but I do look forward to the other side of the Saturn Return, 'cause the late twenties is a grand shitshow). I have all those career anxieties, in so many ways, this was like reading my own internalised narratives. So thank you. I want to restack so many quotes. I am so grateful for brave fucking woman on here like you. Anyway - sHE is gushing, I just love wise women. Have the best day. Thank you for the reminder THAT THE WORLD CAN FUCKING WAIT FOR ME. That I do not have to fucking bloom year-round.
Darling Giselle. I'm breathing with you, sister. I've never heard someone identify how C-PTSD functions in quite this succinct of a way. Phew. Seeing this in me, too.
Like you said, there are seasons. There are seasons for being out and boss babe-ing it. And there are seasons for drawing all your energy in.
You're in the chrysalis. You are becoming goo. Your source codes will remake you in time.
Recently I read that butterflies can't see the beauty of their own wings. Isn't that something to consider? How similar it for women.
Also, I feel so tremendously honored to have a shout-out in your letter. Bless. Thank you.
Holding you Sarah, and yes, it's weird isn't it, the places where we don't often recognise C-PTSD creeping into, or even link them. Much compassion for us both. The butterfly line made me cry, oooooph, thank you for the medicine in those words and for being here.
This piece feels like a hug,so beautifully written and honest.🤍
you. are. a. gift.
Have you decided on the question of raising children? No judgment. It was and is the ultimate answer to the where and what regarding both purpose and bravery. I’m more unshakable, and more grateful, than ever before. I apologize when I fall short or allow my anger to drive. I struggle and don’t know what I’m going to do for work, currently unemployed but optimistic. I could shed all material items and even fall into decay or illness, and remain in gratitude and awe; the sole cause of this long game security I’ve gained is the highest blessing of living, growing, healthy offspring under my sturdy wing
Omg…I am stunned speechless after reading this. Feels like you’ve ripped a page from my journal. You are an amazing writer. Damn. Still soaking in the excellence I’ve just witnessed. Thank you for writing this! Your work is necessary.
Been sharing this with my inner circle but forgot to comment and say this felt like a journal entry of my own! I’m in this in between space and unsure when I’ll get out of it but I’m being as patient as possible. I’ve been telling myself it’s just because I’m a new mama. But I’m mollified by your writing that this just happens and that I’m not alone. So thank you!
Beautiful poem at the beginning. I so relate to this and love all your gems of wisdom in this piece
I actually love you and say that whole soul-ly because somehow you’re describing a very specific similar set of conditions under which I’m living through indefinitely - and I feel so… so so so so so much less split and less disgusted with my feelings about myself - and also many other things, I’m only halfway through, I need this whole thing and am devouring - omg I actually - like, your heading and subheading had me captivated for about 2 hours actually and i had no idea of the surreal (so surreal I can barely register it tbh) narration of my life & what I’d like it to be & what I fear re: ever even reaching the things I’d like to reach because exactly of what you’ve written - like, same exact same exact and where it’s not the same exact - it’s better than the same exact because I’m basically having both my dreams of what success feels feels feels like to me inside - FULFILMENT peace etc etc etc - all of this validated - and the spirally trajectory and all it involves from me, I feel so much more…comfortable in saying YES THAT IS ME, proudly - and with less, so much less (!!!!) of a feeling where I need to prove or explain it OR completely sort of push it aside and under as an alternative - where no space to really FEEL the truths I’m in now exist and you have created it so omg thank you - again, reminding myself I came here halfway thru reading and it was to say I LOVE YOU because yes, all the above, and THEN YOU MADE ME FUCKING CACKLE with the bit re: “u thought u knew lol
Jokes on you” sentence which had that very terribly paraphrased vibe that I just …. Yeah. I don’t like pinning everything on one thing cos I’ll get very ocd obsessed and compulsive and so I’ll also leave my surrender here that I hope to print this out somehow and have it to read on my wall in an ideal world - and just have it like people have their passports - I need this. Thank you for this. Omg thank you. Xxxx back in I go to soak up the rest of ur surreal surreality that’s real cos it’s right here and I’m reading ahhhhhh. Xxxxx
Omfg well no bloody wonder (and actually yes bloody wonder ) - CPTSD is exactly fucking it - and also how you write about it, the fact that you hadn’t needed to say it and when you did, all it did was make my intense resonance with what you’re saying make sense and feel less…scary in its spot on accuracy and applicablility (that’s either a made up word or a LinkedIn word or both, god) - like, yeah idk. Oh god. I don’t remember the last time I felt this understood like scooped inside out onto the page about the state of my … the state of ME. Externally-internally-congruently. Wowowowoowow. Fuck!!! (Especially since oh good fucking ness, I had JUST read the thing of bravery in careers & then VS now & how it’s obvious and also excruciating WHY this is the case - sooooo hard to reconcile - and even harder when it simultaneously feels like the decision I’m standing by proudly AND ALSO HAVE NO CONTROL WHATSOEVER OVER even if I wanted to - and oh god. Nope here we stop and go back and read more - just unreal. Thank you so much. Also for letting me stream my consciousness out in ur comment section - 🥴 - I wanna say sorry I wanna say thank you I wanna … nope I wanna go read rest xxxx that’s what I most want rn.
What an honour and a gift to feel your spirit in each of the words that you've gracefully given time to sharing and processing here. Thank you, truly, with all my being, thank you. Thank you for reading and thank you for letting the words meet you where you are. "I hope to print this out somehow and have it to read on my wall in an ideal world - and just have it like people have their passports" made me SOB. Never, ever a need to say sorry for expressing your heart here. It is all welcome. We're never walking this path alone. Never. Holding your hand as we walk it together, love xx