This is brilliant. I share your sentiments exactly. (Especially as a highly-individualistic woman who happens to be an identical twin!)
One way I cope with the frustration of over-conformity (felt you on the dating apps) is finding beauty in the daily rituals of human life. That is, not things people anxiously do to fit in, but the tiny habits we share just by living together:
For example, that could be the fact that folks on the Staten Island Ferry constantly sleep across the benches in the same way with their backpacks as pillows—not because they saw other people do it, but because they're all tired from working. Or the fact that we all blew on game cartridges as kids to "fix" them because our friends told us it worked. There's a charm to human serendipity when there's a social aspect or common narrative experience. THAT kind of conformity, in contrast to the one you describe in your post, makes life more beautiful. :)
All of this. I feel this so deeply. The small stuff that is actually the biggest. The only way to exist here. Thank you for these thoughts. The common narrative experience of our humanness which is innate. So beautiful. Thank you for your contributions and for reading me x
Don't even get me started...I could RANT about jobs requiring you to work in person when there's absolutely no need to. Or I've gotten, "I know *you're* capable of working from home but look at the rest of these people, *they* aren't so you need to come into the office and be a good example." I just can't do it. I can't work in business. I can't. I can't let a company become my entire life, meting out three measly weeks of paid vacation a year, living for holidays and watching as my nights and weekends are slowly colonized by "urgent" emails demanding a response.
Life is too short. We always say that but really, truly, life is too damn short to spend it slowly dying.
Honestly! Why should you have to suffer because others can't work from home, I really think it should be based on the individual. Some people really don't like working from home. For those that do, the option should be available. It makes no sense to me either, Leah.
"Life is too damn short to spend it slowly dying" - All of that. Thank you for your words and contribution, it is so appreciated.
Amazing writing and yes yes yes 1000% agreed and resonate with everything you say! 💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼 I feel like I can’t even connect anymore to people who just seem like empty shells without passion or energy.. but that’s our culture and society. How frustrating😫
I love this, humans have the gift of curiosity, the ability to push past what’s possible and so often we get stuck in what’s comfortable. I’m a creature of comfort but have some serious sexual tension with curiosity. I have been trying to lean more into it these days. Thanks for writing this!
Found myself nodding throughout this whole piece. I can’t stand the surface level of conversation that’s rampant today — I call it “driver’s license discourse”. Who cares about your favorite color or animal, that’s like telling me your height, weight, and hair color. Tell me about your dreams, fears, how you’re expanding in this current season. Tell me about the versions of you that you miss, and the versions you see blooming just around the corner. It’s why I have such a hard time connecting with people, I need more than conversational appetizers to keep me fulfilled.
Also — what you said about your previous job reminds me of the time I decided to start working from home without asking my boss for permission. She didn’t notice for a whole month!! And when she finally did, she said the reason I have to go back is because she pays for office space. 🤢 I quit within a week of returning.
Thank you for another enjoyable read! Have a beautiful day 🌹✨
DRIVER'S LICENSE DISCOURSE - Vashti, I am suddenly incapable of breathing after reading this, because it is so beyond painfully true, and it's funny as when you meet someone new who sees the world in this way, and you get to know the bones and soul of someone, we often realise, "oh wow, I don't actually know what their favourite colour is" because everything else about them is so alive within you.
"Tell me about the versions you see blooming just around the corner" - this is beauty. Thank you for the gift of these questions.
Well, exactly! Our bosses don't even realise we're not working, so pray tell, what is the problem...
It’s your passion for gently, yet persistently, calling humanity at large on our own bullshit that I have always loved about you and your work. It’s the very thing no one wants to look at but everyone craves (to over generalize slightly…and I do mean slightly).
We are really are in a time where the lack of this is being painfully highlighted
This first sentence - sensational! Thank you for naming, witness and appreciating this in me, in ways that I can't always articulate myself.
For sure, the lack of it feels like we're seeing the impacts in so many ways, and ultimately it is my deep, intrinsic love of humanity that draws me to want us all to think critically about how we engage in our own humanity. Fascinating stuff. Thanks for being here, Kat x
I resonnated with every sentence, every thought, every perspective and took it as miracle. There are still some of us resisting this evil, and I feel incredibly grateful I stumbled upon your writings during my Substack daily walk.
I came accross this recently:
"There is no lack of anything in the world other than a lack of imagination. Those who lack imagination lack everything."
Thank you for reading me, Camille. Truly. Ooooh this quote at the end, it's so true, when we lack the imagination to see this world differently we lack so much. Hmmm, I might write about imagination today, thank you for this invitation.
Yes, yes, yes, yes! The bit about AI and how are already running on auto pilot. And also, it would take a huge overhaul of our power grid in order for AI to run the world. For what it's worth.
Yesterday I was walking along the canals of Venice Beach on my birthday, and three different butterflies flew across my path. What a treat it is to be outside of my city, outside of my comfort zone, actually outside and have a chance for nature to dance with me.
My five hour layover feels decidedly boring but you're helping me with the deframe! Xo
Happy Belated Birthday, dear Sarah! I had the most delicious kind of chills thinking about you on your birthday and the butterflies that wouldn't have existed had you not been in the art of noticing. How beautiful!
Lovely! I am also never bored with life, always curious, and in the mood for long walks! PS: Of course you are Sagittarius it can be sense in your diverse, deep, ahead-of-time, funny, and detailed-oriented writing. Thank you for sharing!
This is brilliant. I share your sentiments exactly. (Especially as a highly-individualistic woman who happens to be an identical twin!)
One way I cope with the frustration of over-conformity (felt you on the dating apps) is finding beauty in the daily rituals of human life. That is, not things people anxiously do to fit in, but the tiny habits we share just by living together:
For example, that could be the fact that folks on the Staten Island Ferry constantly sleep across the benches in the same way with their backpacks as pillows—not because they saw other people do it, but because they're all tired from working. Or the fact that we all blew on game cartridges as kids to "fix" them because our friends told us it worked. There's a charm to human serendipity when there's a social aspect or common narrative experience. THAT kind of conformity, in contrast to the one you describe in your post, makes life more beautiful. :)
All of this. I feel this so deeply. The small stuff that is actually the biggest. The only way to exist here. Thank you for these thoughts. The common narrative experience of our humanness which is innate. So beautiful. Thank you for your contributions and for reading me x
I love this Giselle - all of it! Thank you x
Thank you Zenoushka! Grateful for you x
Don't even get me started...I could RANT about jobs requiring you to work in person when there's absolutely no need to. Or I've gotten, "I know *you're* capable of working from home but look at the rest of these people, *they* aren't so you need to come into the office and be a good example." I just can't do it. I can't work in business. I can't. I can't let a company become my entire life, meting out three measly weeks of paid vacation a year, living for holidays and watching as my nights and weekends are slowly colonized by "urgent" emails demanding a response.
Life is too short. We always say that but really, truly, life is too damn short to spend it slowly dying.
Honestly! Why should you have to suffer because others can't work from home, I really think it should be based on the individual. Some people really don't like working from home. For those that do, the option should be available. It makes no sense to me either, Leah.
"Life is too damn short to spend it slowly dying" - All of that. Thank you for your words and contribution, it is so appreciated.
Amazing writing and yes yes yes 1000% agreed and resonate with everything you say! 💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼 I feel like I can’t even connect anymore to people who just seem like empty shells without passion or energy.. but that’s our culture and society. How frustrating😫
Thank you for reading me Eszter! We're really lacking in the depth of connection which is so life-enhancing.
Bloody love it, fuck yes! My whole body wanted to cackle 👏
The best compliment of all time. Thank you Sarina!
Wow. I love this essay. Thanks to @danaleighlyons for pointing me your way 🙏
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for being here!
I love this, humans have the gift of curiosity, the ability to push past what’s possible and so often we get stuck in what’s comfortable. I’m a creature of comfort but have some serious sexual tension with curiosity. I have been trying to lean more into it these days. Thanks for writing this!
"I'm a creature of comfort but have some serious sexual tension with curiosity."
STANLEY. This was a delicious sentence, that I has made it to the notes app on my phone. Divine. Thank you.
Thank you!
Found myself nodding throughout this whole piece. I can’t stand the surface level of conversation that’s rampant today — I call it “driver’s license discourse”. Who cares about your favorite color or animal, that’s like telling me your height, weight, and hair color. Tell me about your dreams, fears, how you’re expanding in this current season. Tell me about the versions of you that you miss, and the versions you see blooming just around the corner. It’s why I have such a hard time connecting with people, I need more than conversational appetizers to keep me fulfilled.
Also — what you said about your previous job reminds me of the time I decided to start working from home without asking my boss for permission. She didn’t notice for a whole month!! And when she finally did, she said the reason I have to go back is because she pays for office space. 🤢 I quit within a week of returning.
Thank you for another enjoyable read! Have a beautiful day 🌹✨
DRIVER'S LICENSE DISCOURSE - Vashti, I am suddenly incapable of breathing after reading this, because it is so beyond painfully true, and it's funny as when you meet someone new who sees the world in this way, and you get to know the bones and soul of someone, we often realise, "oh wow, I don't actually know what their favourite colour is" because everything else about them is so alive within you.
"Tell me about the versions you see blooming just around the corner" - this is beauty. Thank you for the gift of these questions.
Well, exactly! Our bosses don't even realise we're not working, so pray tell, what is the problem...
Thank you for being here!
It’s your passion for gently, yet persistently, calling humanity at large on our own bullshit that I have always loved about you and your work. It’s the very thing no one wants to look at but everyone craves (to over generalize slightly…and I do mean slightly).
We are really are in a time where the lack of this is being painfully highlighted
This first sentence - sensational! Thank you for naming, witness and appreciating this in me, in ways that I can't always articulate myself.
For sure, the lack of it feels like we're seeing the impacts in so many ways, and ultimately it is my deep, intrinsic love of humanity that draws me to want us all to think critically about how we engage in our own humanity. Fascinating stuff. Thanks for being here, Kat x
I resonnated with every sentence, every thought, every perspective and took it as miracle. There are still some of us resisting this evil, and I feel incredibly grateful I stumbled upon your writings during my Substack daily walk.
I came accross this recently:
"There is no lack of anything in the world other than a lack of imagination. Those who lack imagination lack everything."
Thank you for reading me, Camille. Truly. Ooooh this quote at the end, it's so true, when we lack the imagination to see this world differently we lack so much. Hmmm, I might write about imagination today, thank you for this invitation.
You’re welcome, and please do! I’m looking forward to reading your next thoughts.
Yes, yes, yes, yes! The bit about AI and how are already running on auto pilot. And also, it would take a huge overhaul of our power grid in order for AI to run the world. For what it's worth.
Yesterday I was walking along the canals of Venice Beach on my birthday, and three different butterflies flew across my path. What a treat it is to be outside of my city, outside of my comfort zone, actually outside and have a chance for nature to dance with me.
My five hour layover feels decidedly boring but you're helping me with the deframe! Xo
Happy Belated Birthday, dear Sarah! I had the most delicious kind of chills thinking about you on your birthday and the butterflies that wouldn't have existed had you not been in the art of noticing. How beautiful!
Lovely! I am also never bored with life, always curious, and in the mood for long walks! PS: Of course you are Sagittarius it can be sense in your diverse, deep, ahead-of-time, funny, and detailed-oriented writing. Thank you for sharing!