I wish I could heart this piece for each time I internally said "THIS!" I love asking questions and being asked questions. I love talking about the things we're not supposed to talk about. If you don't already have it, you should get the game "we're not really strangers" you'd probably love it. And as for the question, I love asking people if they're happy. It catches them off guard and it is a great conversation starter.
Loved this Ashleigh! "I love talking about the things we're not supposed to talk about", right?! It's interesting as the topics that society names as taboo to talk about are exactly the ones that society continues to struggle with as it's so shrouded in secrecy. That idea of it's not "polite" to discuss politics, money and sex in certain situations or too early in meeting people, when it is fundamental to do so!
Those conversation prompt games are the best aren't they!
My first question is, where are the people like you and me? I don't meet people who ask questions and really listen to the answer in my day to day life, except for maybe, when I'm talking to other writers.
My deep thinking, empathic son asks questions that require contemplation. When he asks me, "Are you okay? How did you feel about your trip? Did you rest? I know that he sees me and he knows what I need. It's an invitation to tell him what's on my mind and how I feel about it.
Conversations with my husband, are more logistical than inquisitve or complemplative. My son could teach him so much. Perhaps should have asked more questions before I married him 30 years ago.
I'm always curious about the motivation behind behavior and choices. What brings you here, to this place and time? Do you look within? Are you honest with yourself? What brings you joy, the kind that gives you goosebumps? What are you doing for yourself today?
When I ask, how are you? I really want to know.
Why do you want to have a baby? This is a big one for me. Having a child is not a simple thing. Babies are cute. Teenagers are not. Babies do not make a bad marriage better. Also, freedom is a beautiful thing.
I asked my oldest son, "Are you willing to vote with the future of that child in mind? It's not just about you and how you feel about politicians."
Thank you for making me think this morning. I love your voice. You make me want to write deeper.
Karen! I've re-read this comment so many times. It is just so rich. You're so right, I'm endlessly grateful to be in community with deep questioners and I agree, it feels more common with writers or other creative, or perhaps the degree to which that person knows and questions themselves.
The question from your son, "did you rest?" - so beautiful. The care in that is so meaningful.
"What are you doing for yourself today?" - YES!
And, oooph the questions around who we vote for... I am FASCINATED. I would love to ask people that after they vote. Really curious as to the level of questioning people ask of themselves and their candidates.
This is SO REAL and sad sometimes haha. My favourite questions always include a WHY and HOW but I think why is my fav because I love to understand what someone's intention or motivation is. I wonder what stops some people from being curious and interested in others. I wonder if there is a point in life where that shifts for some, or if it's society, culture or just their own bored character :)
Questioning our own lives is a different story , that can be so scary. I wish sometimes I would do less of it, life would be easier :) but I guess less interesting. May we all stay curious, always!
Mmmh the desire to understand. So beautiful living with that curiosity and an observational mind. For sure, such a difference in feeling from asking questions to the constant questioning or at least the desire to always find an answer 💕
This is so beautiful. The way I want you to write a follow up and go down the rabbit hole of gender specifics here!
I'm noticing my questions seem to focus on prompting emotional connection. I like to ask others: "What's coming up?" or "what's moving you at the moment?" and similarly for myself "what's here now?"
Ooooh this is interesting! Exploring the themes of the questions we tend to ask. Whether it's the emotional deep dives or very detail oriented. And also which kinds of questions resonate the most with us or make us feel more "seen" than others.
You've written a lovely post, and I appreciate how you thought about the symbol of questioning. Thank you for this, and I'm glad I found your writing. "It is an act of love to be asked a question."
Questions can bring us closer. The right questions can help us heal and see ourselves differently while answering them. Cultivating our curiosity is a skill that we use to get through life, integrate and connect information, and be more empathic.
Asking questions is like the spark that keeps us close to everything in between.
I wish I could heart this piece for each time I internally said "THIS!" I love asking questions and being asked questions. I love talking about the things we're not supposed to talk about. If you don't already have it, you should get the game "we're not really strangers" you'd probably love it. And as for the question, I love asking people if they're happy. It catches them off guard and it is a great conversation starter.
Loved this Ashleigh! "I love talking about the things we're not supposed to talk about", right?! It's interesting as the topics that society names as taboo to talk about are exactly the ones that society continues to struggle with as it's so shrouded in secrecy. That idea of it's not "polite" to discuss politics, money and sex in certain situations or too early in meeting people, when it is fundamental to do so!
Those conversation prompt games are the best aren't they!
My first question is, where are the people like you and me? I don't meet people who ask questions and really listen to the answer in my day to day life, except for maybe, when I'm talking to other writers.
My deep thinking, empathic son asks questions that require contemplation. When he asks me, "Are you okay? How did you feel about your trip? Did you rest? I know that he sees me and he knows what I need. It's an invitation to tell him what's on my mind and how I feel about it.
Conversations with my husband, are more logistical than inquisitve or complemplative. My son could teach him so much. Perhaps should have asked more questions before I married him 30 years ago.
I'm always curious about the motivation behind behavior and choices. What brings you here, to this place and time? Do you look within? Are you honest with yourself? What brings you joy, the kind that gives you goosebumps? What are you doing for yourself today?
When I ask, how are you? I really want to know.
Why do you want to have a baby? This is a big one for me. Having a child is not a simple thing. Babies are cute. Teenagers are not. Babies do not make a bad marriage better. Also, freedom is a beautiful thing.
I asked my oldest son, "Are you willing to vote with the future of that child in mind? It's not just about you and how you feel about politicians."
Thank you for making me think this morning. I love your voice. You make me want to write deeper.
Karen! I've re-read this comment so many times. It is just so rich. You're so right, I'm endlessly grateful to be in community with deep questioners and I agree, it feels more common with writers or other creative, or perhaps the degree to which that person knows and questions themselves.
The question from your son, "did you rest?" - so beautiful. The care in that is so meaningful.
"What are you doing for yourself today?" - YES!
And, oooph the questions around who we vote for... I am FASCINATED. I would love to ask people that after they vote. Really curious as to the level of questioning people ask of themselves and their candidates.
Thank you for this Karen. Truly x
This is SO REAL and sad sometimes haha. My favourite questions always include a WHY and HOW but I think why is my fav because I love to understand what someone's intention or motivation is. I wonder what stops some people from being curious and interested in others. I wonder if there is a point in life where that shifts for some, or if it's society, culture or just their own bored character :)
Questioning our own lives is a different story , that can be so scary. I wish sometimes I would do less of it, life would be easier :) but I guess less interesting. May we all stay curious, always!
Mmmh the desire to understand. So beautiful living with that curiosity and an observational mind. For sure, such a difference in feeling from asking questions to the constant questioning or at least the desire to always find an answer 💕
You are a wonderful writer 🩷🩷
Thank you so much for saying that Hannah! Appreciate you, always 💕
This is so beautiful. The way I want you to write a follow up and go down the rabbit hole of gender specifics here!
I'm noticing my questions seem to focus on prompting emotional connection. I like to ask others: "What's coming up?" or "what's moving you at the moment?" and similarly for myself "what's here now?"
Ooooh this is interesting! Exploring the themes of the questions we tend to ask. Whether it's the emotional deep dives or very detail oriented. And also which kinds of questions resonate the most with us or make us feel more "seen" than others.
This moved me so much and made me think., especially in the context of dating. Thank you.
Thank you for reading Catherine! It feels especially present with dating doesn't it.
You've written a lovely post, and I appreciate how you thought about the symbol of questioning. Thank you for this, and I'm glad I found your writing. "It is an act of love to be asked a question."
Questions can bring us closer. The right questions can help us heal and see ourselves differently while answering them. Cultivating our curiosity is a skill that we use to get through life, integrate and connect information, and be more empathic.
Asking questions is like the spark that keeps us close to everything in between.