Is nature or culture deciding the seasons?
and how it relates to the Hot Girl, Brat and Demure of it all.
Trench coats unpacked while daffodils bloom in spring. Iced chai lattes walking through heaving parks in summer. Crumbly leaves embedded under rain-boots come autumn. Cold-bitten hands finding homes in coat pockets during winter. Maybe these will soon be the seasons of old. With climate change making a soup out of our months, uncertainty abounds with where one season ends and another begins. We're familiar with following the bellows of nature, looking at dates in calendars and reminding ourselves of when the clock changes to clue us up into the seasons.
Culture is doing the same.
Hot Girl Summer, Brat Summer, Demure Fall. Each season brings with it a pop culture telegram, alerting us to the changing mood. Whether it’s from artists Megan Thee Stallion and CharliXCX as told in their song and album titles to content creator Jools Lebron via a satirical series on TikTok. A way of being and seeing the world and undoubtedly, a carefully curated aesthetic is all wrapped in each one. Even if you didn’t stumble across any of these trends yourself, you might have felt the third wave reverberations as they swiftly disseminated into other areas of culture.
Kamala Harris’ team fashioned some of its online presence for her presidential campaign on all things Brat. The White House decided to opt for Demure Fall, with an Instagram post from Joe Biden on cancelling student debt ending in Lebron’s “very mindful, very demure.” Across the world, brands, celebrities and businesses leaped on both Brat and Demure messaging, with as much gusto as the girlies queuing up at 6:45am for the latest viral bakery to open.
Ultimately, it’s just a bit of fun, isn’t it. I have no doubt that it turns many folks stomachs as it’s the pinnacle of chronically online culture and a dearth of original thought. As for me, I’m all for it. I wrote about the death of imagination recently, and these moments and trends that are sparked by creatives are quite simply, rather exciting in a sea of recycled shit. The lack of imagination comes from the brands who jump on it because everyone else is, without adding anything to the conversation. The brands who strategically and promptly spoke about it, because they spotted its early potential and crucially, that it made sense to their audiences, reaped the relatability rewards. Those who came even a day too late, when the trend had moved on, looked a bit like the expired milk left to go rancid on the pop-culture shelf.
I spent a week saying, “very mindful, very demure” in every other sentence with my girl. We walked through Harrods, watching people line up for the equally as viral lobster rolls and rotisserie chicken, overhearing musings about how “Brat” something is or isn’t. It’s a good time. It’s a wild time to be alive. Witnessing online and IRL intersect somewhere between a Food Hall and the Piccadilly Line.
Why are we so captivated by these seasonal moods? Perhaps it’s the good old raison d’être of being human, a need so pervasive that to even name it feels embarrassingly obvious, something that simultaneously speaks to who we are and what we so desperately need, but also, why do we keep forgetting that most things can be traced back to this. Our desire to belong. Whether that is belonging to ourselves, each other, or to something bigger than us.
We can simplify Brat Summer and Demure Fall to fleeting Internet moments that have spread their wings so far into the fabric and structure of the universe that they’ve changed some of our collective lexicon, or we can ask: what does this say about who we are? We don’t want to keep up with the Joneses anymore, we want to keep up with evolving language, colours of the season (bordeaux apparently, like every damn autumn/winter), turns of phrase, and aesthetics. We want to be in the know. We want to be in on the big ole private joke and that’s not happening in town halls but the global town hall that is TikTok and Instagram.
For the naysayers: if you can hear the laughter and secret language of millions of people sat in the town hall, why wouldn’t you want to peek in? Why wouldn’t you want to see what they’re seeing? Why wouldn’t you want to understand what’s happening in there? We’re curious folk. We can argue that it’s fluffy nonsense, stake our claim in cultural elitism to diminish it, but even to dismiss it is to prove that our need for belonging is what moves us. We see it all the time, it’s how disenfranchisement spreads its roots. The opening thoughts of, “I don’t get all of this stuff”, that moves on to, “this is fucking ridiculous”, to then targeting the people who are doing it, “all of these damn younger generations” which can of course be swapped in or out for any groups of people, before heading into the realm of derogatory. All of this becoming code for the words that feel scarier to utter, “I feel left out. I don’t feel like I belong here. Where is my place in this changing world?”
It’s evident all around us. The camp of politicians and apparently podcast hosts who ramp up hysteria by incessantly talking about culture wars, as if they aren’t the ones stoking its overused flames. It’s designed to divide us, as a divided society is easier to control and manipulate than one who knows that we belong to each other. Whether it’s people mocking Brat in all of its lime-green paraphernalia to not understanding “all this pronoun” stuff. Remarks surface that, “everything’s so complicated now with all the neurodivergence”. Or even more painfully, got so “woke”, which is surely a word that should have remained in the great year of “this planet is ghetto AF” that was 2020. Could these sentiments stem from a feeling of no longer believing that you belong to this new world? The people who “know” or at least are engaging in the various ways our world is changing, who are watching videos of people eating Crumbl cookies online and customising their Stanley Cups; there’s a community there. It’s belonging to something. Saying you’re having a Brat summer then overhearing another woman in the street saying the same thing, is an unspoken, “I see you” moment.
I know stuff because my business is in making meaning from our human experience. It’s also just my personality. I know stuff because people are endlessly fascinating, I want to know all about them. I know stuff but I don’t participate, believe in or agree with all of it. I felt Hot Girl Summer in my soul but I don’t resonate with the whole clean girl thing. In all areas of my life I seek to challenge norms and social expectations. I’m a down with the patriarchy and fuck that noise kind of girl. I’m a let’s change the law instead of participating in archaic rules kind of girl. We can be engaged in things without identifying with them or judging those who are. As I always say: everyone is not you and that is beautiful, let them like the things you don’t like. I’m not down for binary thinking, I see so many posts poking fun at those who keep up with these seasonal moods, labelling them as “sheep”, “unoriginal” or a certain “kind of person”. They might just be curious. They might be engaged in the world around them. They might, perish the thought, just be enjoying their one precious life.
So, where does the anger come from, from those who aren’t aware or keeping up with it all. It’s okay to not like something. It’s okay to think something is stupid. Doesn’t have to be deeper than that. But, sometimes our issues with things are a reflection of how we see ourselves. To not see ourselves in this changing world is to feel like we don’t belong to it. When the world seems to be speaking in a new language and trading in currencies that didn’t exist even a week before, it will illicit feelings of displacement. Then, people disengage right, which then proves their point that they don’t belong. Only conversation and compassion will remedy that. On the surface, the recent race riots in the UK looked like it was about migration. When you actually listen to the words of those involved, much of what they’re saying can be translated to them feeling that everything’s different and they don’t feel like they belong anymore, coupled up with media rhetoric and disinformation which further convinces them that this is so.
My grandparents who are in their mid-eighties struggle with their phones, they hate that people are always on them, that you have to do everything online now, like banking or changing details. When we teach them how to use it and they don’t get it the first time, they blame themselves or think they’re stupid. I remind them that there’s no difference between me and them, other than that I’m more engaged in it. I use it everyday, so therefore my phone and I are intertwined. The world has changed. Their world has changed. Like many people their age, so struck by this feeling of not belonging or understanding, they can choose to opt out. Stick to what they’ve done. Not use their phones. Then they get further and further out of society.
Instead, my grandparents persevere. Mum and I will show them how to do something a hundred times, if that’s what it takes. We never judge them for not knowing something. We’re patient. We keep showing up to show them. In a world that is ever-changing, we won’t arrive in it at the same time, but with love, kindness and patience there is space for all of us in our bold difference and uniqueness to find a place here to co-exist. My grandpa is now an iPad mastermind, he’s on YouTube, Googling, looking up relatives and his favourite pastime is when we’re watching old films to Wikipedia a celebrity to see when they died.
He has made the choice to re-engage. He knows what parts of this changing world are not of interest to him, but he remains curious. We watched Sam Smith at The Proms, and my Grandpa clapped after each song and kept saying, “things like this make you feel so grateful to be alive.”
These cultural seasons, whether we like them or not, are the connectors of the Social Media Age that we live in. We know that we are nature but also feel so incredibly disconnected from ourselves, each other and nature itself. As the world speeds up, the multi-month long stretches in a season, may well need something in between them. This summer felt achingly short but when we’ve normalised fast forwarding through 3 minute videos because we can’t hold our attention that long, summer needed a sprinkle of Brat (and Oasis reuniting) to keep us going. Summer could just be summer in all of its majesty and glow, but slap a “Hot Girl” at the beginning of it and suddenly it’s made anew. A summer that now has an era attached to it and as is the capitalist way, things to buy and consume to make a relic out of it.
In the perpetual adulting we do, it can feel like there’s no time to think. Our algorithms feed us what to buy and now, what to belong to. Just like nature or nurture, seasons can be seen as nature or culture. We know it’s coming into autumn when we see what the leaves are doing, and feel the rumbles in our loins that it’s time to bust out a fine knit. But, we’ve also collectively decided that as kids go back to school, we all should “go back” to serious post-summer stuff. It’s time to get serious. Hustle a bit harder. Make things happen. The air already felt different this week, as soon as 1st September came into being. I couldn't tell if it was actually the physical seasons changing or just the cultural chatter of what autumn is supposed to be.
All of this to say. Call it Demure Fall or just fall, but seasons are incredibly interesting. Seasons that are defined by others, nature, trends, life, or ourselves. These modern archetypes which ask us to fashion ourselves into different personas, seasons and aesthetics, can be seen as an effort to further homogenise us. That we’ll all become these same-same but different robots wearing the same clothes, thinking the same thoughts and valuing the same things. And, yes, I believe that can be part of the story. But, we get to shift how we relate to something.
As with all things, the consciousness we bring to something will determine its impact. If you watch Love is Blind to numb out, escape from chronic stress, and get a dopamine fix, then that’s what you’ll receive. Nothing wrong with that. If you watch Love is Blind to understand the human condition and cultural definitions of love and attachment, then so it is, innit.
What we engage in can offer us an invitation into thinking about who we are and how we see the world around us. When I see this wider trend for Hot Girl and Brat Summers, I see it as an invitation into living into our own seasons. Releasing the idea that we have to stay the same, unwilling to grow, locked into to our identities. The core of who we are and our values can remain our constants, but by further leaning into the cyclical nature of seasons and archetypes, there’s so much we can discover in ourselves.
Who are you in this season of your life?
It’s similar to the astrological seasons. We’re in Virgo season right now, and if you have any major Virgo placements, then you might feel it more than others. Irrespective of whether you believe in astrology, work with it or know what Virgo even is, it’s an invitation for us all at this time of year. When I’m reading through
If Demure Fall isn’t your season or you couldn’t give a shit about Virgo energy, then maybe you’re in a season of saying no. You could be in a season of prioritising yourself. A season of boundaries. A season of being in love. Romancing self. Caring for others. A season of grinding. One for frolicking. A season of seduction. A season for being messy as fuck. For some of us, this is just how we do life and we’re doing all of these things, but to name it as a season, we’re declaring that this is what we’re prioritising in this moment of time.
Right now, I’m in a season of “I deserve this”. Not as an excuse to buy cute shit and spend longer in bed, but a real embodied sense of knowing who I am, what I’ve done to step further into who I am, and what I deserve as a result of that. The shifts and up-levels that are coming from me knowing what I deserve. Not what I deserve or expect from the world around me, but the ways that I will go, get and receive what I deserve.
I deserve abundance. I deserve to own that I’m fully and pathetically in love. I deserve to be surrounded by people who feel like an exhale. I deserve to have days of utter silliness. I deserve to have spaciousness. I deserve to be well compensated for my knowledge, expertise and heart. I deserve to put myself in rooms to receive the opportunities that I’m destined for. I deserve to prioritise my needs after a lifetime of prioritising other people’s. I deserve to say, “nope I’m not doing that.” I deserve to live in a body that feels strong and nourished. I deserve it all.
We are seasonal beings impacted by the cool rush of trees undulating overhead but also from everything we consume, witness, analyse, scroll and double tap on. We are not made to stay the same. We can decide how we will define our autumn. We get to choose if we want to wear bordeaux sweaters, camel coats and ankle boots or if we want to say fuck it and wear leggings under linen shorts and knee-high socks with sandals all through the season instead. We can choose if we want to participate in what TikTok says or decide it’s not for us. We can refuse to drink another pumpkin-spiced drink. We get to use the slow withering of plants as a sign for us to find our internal rest, instead of pretending that we have to go back to school.
We simply get to ask ourselves in each instance, who am I? Who do I want to be? And, maybe most importantly, what do I choose to belong to, other than myself?
Informative
I love this deserve season for you. Me to in love and knowing I deserve this. Just beautifully written as always beautiful xx