Witness 04: Making Friends with Patience

Slowing down to be with each day.

A QUIET JOY
FROM YOU

Stepping out after the rain, I hear the sound 
Of a butterfly struggling on the ground. 
One wing strong and free, reaching for the sky 
The other merged with a leaf as it waited to dry. 
With delicate fingers just like you deserve 
I take to the floor to see how I can serve. 
Damp leaf removed, a spare wing of no use 
Freedom flutters through us as you shake yourself loose. 
I'll be your support until you gracefully fly away 
A finger either side to catch you as you sway. 
Our lives beautifully merged in this hour of slow surrender 
Where you taught me the joy in patience, and to keep my heart tender.
 
Victoria, Seaham

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A REFLECTION FROM ME

It was heading into Autumn, 2019. The last few days where it is acceptable to still be wearing a strappy sandal without your aubergine painted toes getting frostbite. My beloved friend and I were pretending the streets of Midtown East, NYC were the runway for our carefully planned fashions. Every pedestrian crossing we reached my friend would zoom past, ignoring the silhouette of the little glowing man to grant us permission to cross. She had to wait for me on the other side. Always.

I may not drive, but I follow the Highway Code, I never cross unless there's a green man or not even a whiff of a car on the horizon. After decades of living with a dysregulated nervous system, I just don't like to go into unnecessary fight or flight when crossing the street to get a hot chocolate. 

When my friend was pacing through town, no doubt doing a Miranda Priestly and wanting to say to me, ‘by all means move at a glacial pace, you know how that thrills me’, I would annoyingly whisper in her ear, ‘treacle, treacle, treacle'. A reminder to move through life with a syrupy slowness. To be patient with life as we wade through it. Especially if we have no place to be. Shout out to my girl for her everlasting patience and unconditional love for me, though.

Patience is an entry into deeper presence. When we're not rushing through it, waiting for things to happen or speeding past what we see; we get to be with what's here. 

The multifaceted nature of what's here. What's here is not only the beauty of life, the ordinary moments, the sunsets and architecture, the birds and the toddlers playing with sticky fingers. What's here is also what feels uncertain. The uncertainty is always what gets us. We want to know what's next. We want to gobble it up. Get our proof that what's next will be good. Worth the wait. A sign that the tricky moment we might be in today will be gone very, very quickly. 

It's so normal and human to crave the comfort of knowing what'll happen next. Yet it's a craving that feels even more pressing, because we live with urgency on our lips. Fast fashion, fast food, fast dating, fast living. We can have whatever we want when we want it. We speed into relationships. Speed through our days. Speed through life's expected milestones. To get to where? A hope of something better? Comfort? A peace we think will be there? When today is what offers us the chance to be what is better, just because it's here, now. 

When we can cultivate patience when we're waiting to cross the street, queuing at a restaurant or in security at the airport; they are the little bites of preparation for the bigger moments. When we're in periods of feeling stuck in life, when we want to bypass it, instead of riding with it. We can try to find room for patience. We can find simple moments to find joy in, even if the rest is heavy. We can find a way to let life unfold, instead of forcing and pushing it into action. We can find the ease to reflect and pause instead of feeling the urgency to react, respond or create because of external pressure. It helps. 

We are here for the long-haul flight of life. The only destination, my friends, is death. 
Something that we're not exactly excited about, so when we rush, where exactly are we going? In our haste we are missing life. All of it. The gorgeous bits and the shitty bits. All the bits that are the reason why we're here. 

Let what's here be the final destination. Of course, we get to hope, dream and desire up our future, but let's not use the thoughts of tomorrow to distract us from the wonder of today. 

Today needs us. Slow down with it. Take patience when it's offered up.

Even when it's difficult to do.

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4 Little Practices For…
QUIET REVOLUTION

WATCH…
This pop culture classic, if you find yourself wanting to rush through life this week.

DO…
Something nice for another human. Here's a lovely list of acts of kindness for inspiration.

WITNESS…
Animals being animals. Pause to greet the neighbourhood cat, local pigeon, snails crawling, ants busying or butterflies at rest. Act as if you've never seen them before. See what you discover.

CELEBRATE…
Yourself as a way to connect with yourself. Write 10 things you're proud of yourself for. It might be your values, things you've done or worked through recently, big lessons or challenges. Honour yourself. Do something nice for you.